I can’t think of a better title.

Have you ever thought about what might happen if you were to plug every orifice in the human body, save for the mouth… then have the human body ingest a ton of helium? Well I hadn’t thought about it before, but when my husband came home from work yesterday it suddenly dawned on me what that might look like.

Yes, yesterday my husband suffered an “allergic reaction” (to what, we have no idea) that caused his hands, feet and face to swell beyond recognition. Being the stoic husband that he is, he refused to go to the hospital yesterday and opted to take a couple allergy pills and wait it out.  Today, when he woke up, most of the swelling had gone down but he was covered in hives, and starting to get the shakes. He finally decided that it would be okay to take him to a walk-in clinic.  He has has no known allergies, but since this is obviously some form of allergic reaction, the doctor prescribed a huge dose of anti-inflammatories, high-doses of reactine, and an epi pen in case this should happen again (incidentally, the same thing actually did happen four years ago… we still don’t know what causes this to happen, but we now have a referral to an allergist).

So, in the heat of the moment my concern was to make sure that 1) he didn’t die and 2) that he felt better. But now that the dust seems to be settling (he’s resting as I write this), of course my attention is shifting to my other love…… derby. Suffice it to say that I missed practice today. And now I’m having a panic attack.

I am cautiously optimistic that I have most of my minimal skills banked in my muscle memory. However, I am sadly still falling short of 25 laps in 5 minutes by two whole laps. Being at every practice at this point is ESSENTIAL. In fact today would have been one of the last two practices before my min skills assessment. Losing an entire practice….. wells lets just say I’m feeling pretty certain that I’m going to be repeating my skills assessment in about a month and a half from now.

Life happens, I know.. but this does stink. I really needed today’s practice.

Oh… and Roller Derby Workout Challenge Week #2 can kiss my bruised ass. Between a pukey daughter, and ear-infected son, and a blow-up husband (ha)…. I deserve a CHEAT NIGHT.



  1. Damn! I’m glad he’s doing better. Could it have been some odd bug bite? Anyway, the new wheels should make a huge difference. I’m going to start running all our girls through our first minimum skills tests this thursday, and I’m a bit afraid that they will get mad at me if I don’t give them the highest marks. The problem is, many of them have been missing quite a bit because they’re breeders and life gets in the way.

    As for 25/5, I know a ranked team that only requires 23/5 to actually be deemed ready to jump on the track. They need 25/5 to be on the B team, and I’m not sure how many more to be on the traveling team.

    You can do it!!!

    • Thanks! I really appreciate the encouragement. As it turns out, his body was responding to a virus that he’d had the week before by sending his immune system into overdrive! Yesterday was the first fairly hive free day, so I’m hoping this is all done and over with 😀

      • Wow that is so scary! Glad to hear he is okay! Goodluck with your challenge!! You will do fantastic!

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